NILIF and Rewarding Good Behavior |
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How do we get our dogs to do what we want and build a good relationship at the same time? An age old question, for sure. As I have gotten older (hopefully, wiser) it has become apparent to me that relationship building with my dogs has become clearer, easier, more natural in its flow. When I finally realized that I control access to everything in my dog's lives that they deem important it was a revelation. The fact that I can use this information to achieve a lot of what I want my dogs to do was enlightening. I can't claim credit for this great discovery; someone had to point it out to me. I'm a slow learner but at least I learn. What exactly am I babbling about? NILIF -- Nothing In Life Is Free! What exactly is NILIF? The principle behind NILIF is that the dog only gets to do what it wants if it earns the privilege. Does your dog want to be petted -- have him sit first? Does you dog want to play ball -- have him do a down first. Does your dog want to go for a walk -- have him do a quick stay as you are attaching the leash? Is your dog wanting his supper -- have him do a sit. A simple sit is always something easy to do for a dog to get what he is wanting -- a doggie way of saying "please." Use commands the dog knows. If your dog in inexperienced then that wonderful sit command is easily taught. Use it whenever you feel your dog is becoming a little demanding of your attention. Often we allow ourselves to slip into a pattern of responding to a dog's every need "free of charge." Soon we wonder why the dog is so persistent in his demands. Think about it. His request has been met whenever he has asked. At the very least he got some attention, be it positive or negative. Now he is demanding. If you don't respond appropriately then he will really become obnoxious. Dogs are very clever bright creatures. If one thing will not get what they want they will invent another way. Usually, we can trace the behavior back to the dog quietly, slowly taking control of the house and all living within. Make a new rule, today. The only time the dog gets access to what it wants is to earn it. Short, quick and with a lot of praise for "saying please." Everyone in the home has to stick to the NILIF program. As I am typing my 11 month old Lab, Lilly, is standing on my bed barking out the window at an imaginary being in the dark driveway. I wan her to bark to sound a warning. I also want her to be quiet when I ask. She usually grabs a toy and barks with it in her mouth (at least it muffles the sound). I do try and not let her see me laugh (wrong thing to reinforce) because she is so cute trying to be brave with her "woobie" in her mouth. Since I do want her to sound an alarm I let her bark for about 5 seconds. Tell her "quiet" and call her off the bed to sit beside my chair. I get to praise her for the come and sit (not the bark). At the same time I have stopped her barking. By the coming, being quiet and sitting she gets some loving and to go back up on the bed with a toy. There was a time that I would have hollered at my dog to "shut up," gotten up, grabbed her collar, given her a shake and told her to "be quiet." What would I have accomplished? My dog would have stopped barking, but at what cost? She would probably be watching me out of one eye and the driveway out of the other completely convinced that something very frightening was in her presence. If I were to stand up she would shrink back. Been there, done that. But that is what would have happened many years age, not today. There is a better way. Lilly has now curled up beside me with her head resting on my feet, snoring. She trust me and I didn't violate that trust with a lesson about when to stop barking. When your dog knows who is in charge in your relationship they are much more comfortable. One of the simplest ways to help achieve this without having to be "heavy-handed" and destroying a trusting relationship is a simple NILIF program. A complementary technique is to be sure to praise your dog when it is doing something right -- Reward Good Behavior. We humans are quick to fuss when a dog is doing something we consider wrong but not nearly as quick to praise good behavior. If your dog is lying quietly with a toy and not eating your shoe, smile and tell him what a good dog he is. Greeting you with all four feet on the floor instead of jumping on you is to be praised. Forming eye contact just because she wants to know where you are is a complement and should be recognized with praise. Not barking at someone you pass on a walk is to be acknowledged. Between Rewarding Good Behavior and a NILIF program you should see wonderful things happen in your relationship with your dog. Just a quick note about praise. If your dog is contentedly behaving itself you want to acknowledge the behavior but not interrupt it. Soft eye contact and a soft closed mouth smile is often all that is needed. A quiet "good dog" may be appropriate. A quiet moment of physical contact (massage, petting) is rewarding. What you don't want to do is be so exciting that you pull the dog from its appropriate behavior just for the sake of praising it. You have to gauge the praise with the situation and the basic excitability level of the dog. You want to acknowledge the good behavior not stop it. Try to be aware of all opportunities to reinforce your dog for appropriate behavior. Before you know it you will find a change in your relationship with your dog. It will become clearer, easier, more natural in its flow. A relationship well worth sharing. copyright NCRAOA please contact NCRAOA for permission to reprint |